The Bird with the Crystal Plumage

SUSPENSE AROUND EVERY CURVE!

“There was something wrong with the scene. Something odd. I can’t pin it down, but I have a definite feeling that something didn’t fit.”

The Bird with the Crystal Plumage is Dario Argento’s directorial debut loosely based on American pulp writer Fredric Brown’s The Screaming Mimi. Managed to track down the opening paragraph of Brown’s book, and it’s pure gold: 

“You can never tell what a drunken Irishman will do. You can make a flying guess, you can make a lot of flying guesses. You can list them in their order of probability. The likely ones are easy: He might go after another drink, start a fight, make a speech, take a train. You can work down the list of possibilities; he might buy some green paint, chop down a maple tree, do a fan dance, sing God Save The King, steal an oboe. You can work on down to things that get less and less likely, and eventually you might hit the rock bottom of improbability: he might make a resolution and stick to it. I know that’s incredible, but it happened. A guy named Sweeney did it once, in Chicago. He made a resolution and he had to wade through blood and black coffee to keep it, but he kept it.”

What a hook! Screaming Mimi was the first film adaptation of the novel made in 1958 noir style, which critic Dennis Schwartz described as, quote, “especially suited for lovers of bad movies.” Argento’s Crystal Plumage is thus the second reimagining (with an equally unusual title), and the first installment of his Animal Trilogy. 

Score’s by the legendary Morricone (which transports one full speed ahead to The Duke of Burgundy soundtrack), and this was, incredibly, also the great Vittorio Storaro‘s first feature as cinematographer, who would later go on to win three Oscars for Apocalypse Now, Reds, and The Last Emperor. Miraculous trio for a first feature. 

Argento wrote this screenplay, too, full of hilarious one-liners (“Bring in the perverts!”) and colorful side characters. This damn thing is turning into an obsession. My favorite book growing up was The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, and I must say, The Bird with the Crystal Plumage would have fit right in. 

Ultimately, the how exceeds the what in terms of style over substance, but that’s mostly ‘cause the direction’s so spot-on sensational. Narrative still captivates as a crafty little thriller, especially in such tight duration. Dug the closeups, the paintings, the deep reds, and red herrings. Paused several times to sit with a single shot—Argento’s immaculate framing stunning in elusive precision. Bravo, Dario. 

Go to Italy. It’s a peaceful country. Nothing ever happens there.